I'm in such a state of euphoria that I can't sleep. The Buddha said that we should not always have big fluctuation in mood, but I think I deserve this one.
I had to make a presentation for about 3 minutes during the Medsin Explained session yesterday. Medsin, as I've probably said it for 1000 times in the freshers fair, is the Medical Student Internation Network that looks after different projects and campaign internationally, nationally and locally. The After School Club which I am coordinating this year is one of the projects under Medsin and I had to make a presentation to recruit new volunteers for the club.
You have no idea how nervous I was before I went to speak. There were at least 100 people in the lecture theatre which can actually fit 200 people. My hands were so cold. I was almost shivering already while waiting for my turn to speak. I have never made any presentation in front of so many people (esp mat salleh) before. And I won't be given a microphone!
Then it was my turn. It was nerve wreaking for the first couple of seconds. My first words when I looked at the audience was 'This is overwhelming!'. Then everything went fine. Poeple laughed at my jokes. I even managed to come up with some spontaneous humour! At the end, I got a great applause, even some cheers from the audience (which no one else got). Everyone was just telling me that 'i think you were really good', and it was indeed fantastic to hear that. And at the end of the day, I managed to get a total of 60 people to sign up, that's triple the amount of volunteers that we had last year, which also means that we will be able to support an extra 40 Somali refugee children! All these while in the first year, I was just a passive volunteer. I have no idea that that it feels owesome to we get involved and actually make things happen ourselves.
The fact that I'm from Malaysia probably gave me a bit of advantage. I might even have inspired some international student to take on some more important roles in matsalleh dominated commitee such as this one. I told them that I would not be here talking had I not done this last year, which is partly true. I owe my current high level of confidence to all sorts of things, like PBL, the UMAP project, Heartstart, After School Club, Judo, Reache and the Medics in Primary School Scheme. Come to look at the list now, it was a bit too much that I did last year. But it didn't really affected my studies in anyway, unless you consider getting honours grade in all tests not good enough. In fact I think they do make me a better person. So, instead of wasting my life away shopping and sleeping, I've decided to carry on with my hectic schedule and do as much as I can for myself and others. As the Buddha said 'Don't be idle. A useful day full of intense effort is better than a hundred years of idleness and inactivity'.
I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the Medsin commitee for their support. They are one of the most friendly people I have ever met. Also, I would to give a special thank to Yusmin. She is certainly the best Medsin Vice-president for projects I can ever ask for. She is full of confidence and passion, and she are ever so nice to me. She had been really patient with my lack of confidence to speak especially during the Freshers fair and I have just never seen her support fade. So thanks for that. And to the other project leaders - Hannah, Ruth, Jan, Carolyn etc, it's been really nice talking to all of you.
Just to add to the sense of euphoria of this blog entry, I have just been back from Reache, and a poster explaining what the PLAN session do in Reache has been selected as one of the top ten posters out of about 490 in a Medical Education conference in Italy. I feel happy because I had been one of the students Ben (a final year medical student who created the poster) interviewed for this poster, and the fact that I've contributed for the success of almost every PLAN session except for the summer holiday and the exam week. So, congratulations Pip, Mick, Ben and all student volunteers and members of Reache.
Wednesday, September 27
Friday, September 22
Thursday, September 14
Flying to Manchester tomorrow morning
Yes. I had a fantastic three months holiday in KL, and now it's time to resume my studies in Manchester. Actually I feel a little funny because I know I have loads to do when I reach Manchester yet I can't really do anything now. I will be the coordinator for the After School Club for this new term but I still don't know if the club is allocated a stall during freshers fair (which I have applied for), so I can't ask for others' help. I've also volunteered to help out in the Medsin AGA but can't really do as I'm physically still in Malaysia while all the meetings obviously needs to take place in Manchester. Plus I wouldn't be able to get hold of an internet connection as easily as I could at home, so communicating by means of mobile phone will certainly cost me quite a bit.
O well, whatever it is, I have to say that I'm so looking forward to going back! I ate too much during the holiday and now it is time to lift my but and start losing those extra pounds!
O well, whatever it is, I have to say that I'm so looking forward to going back! I ate too much during the holiday and now it is time to lift my but and start losing those extra pounds!
Friday, June 9
Entropy
Entropy is high these few days. It's mainly due to the heat. Summer here is almost as hot as the Malaysian weather. Staying in the room could means that you'd literally be roasted because for some reason, the heater is still bloody working!!! I woke up at 5am last night and couldn't go back to bed as it was too warm. And because sun rises around 4am, people were up and making noises as early as 7:30am and won't stop until like 2am.
The mess in my room is also another major source of entropy. I need to pack up by Sunday as I have to travel to Watford to store my excess luggage there. You have no idea how much rubbish I have amassed over the 9 months time. I was shocked myself! Threw and gave away loads of stuff, yet the amount doesn't seem to be decreasing at all. I'll need some creativity to fit everything into one suitcase.
Other source of entropy: smell in my flat. I have one flatmate whom I suppose most of my other flatmate don't really like (including me). She's always full of herself. She's never interested in listening to other people. She just wants people to listening to things about her. About her super high IQ score, extended family, injuries from Rugby blablabla. She never wants to answer the phone call or doorbell - and when she does, she'd scream about it. We have a rota system of taking out rubbish from the kitchen - She's only took out the rubbish once but insisted that she's done it for three times. She's always dominating the television and basically have little or no friend. I don't think she even realises that she's actually pissing people off, which is a shame really. She's always testing my patiance but I still can tolarate... until now. She's the only person in the flat who doesn't clean up the dishes after eating. Her dirty dishes in the kitchen must be measuring at least 5m and 4 stacks in height, some of them already 5 month old, not to mention those dirty dishes of hers stacked in front of the TV. And now there are maggots on her dirty dishes and the decomposition really stinks the whole flat! She's just extremely lazy, pampered and undisciplined. Now I don't even want to go to the kitchen anymore. If I die of eating too much crisp it's Stephenie's fault!
The mess in my room is also another major source of entropy. I need to pack up by Sunday as I have to travel to Watford to store my excess luggage there. You have no idea how much rubbish I have amassed over the 9 months time. I was shocked myself! Threw and gave away loads of stuff, yet the amount doesn't seem to be decreasing at all. I'll need some creativity to fit everything into one suitcase.
Other source of entropy: smell in my flat. I have one flatmate whom I suppose most of my other flatmate don't really like (including me). She's always full of herself. She's never interested in listening to other people. She just wants people to listening to things about her. About her super high IQ score, extended family, injuries from Rugby blablabla. She never wants to answer the phone call or doorbell - and when she does, she'd scream about it. We have a rota system of taking out rubbish from the kitchen - She's only took out the rubbish once but insisted that she's done it for three times. She's always dominating the television and basically have little or no friend. I don't think she even realises that she's actually pissing people off, which is a shame really. She's always testing my patiance but I still can tolarate... until now. She's the only person in the flat who doesn't clean up the dishes after eating. Her dirty dishes in the kitchen must be measuring at least 5m and 4 stacks in height, some of them already 5 month old, not to mention those dirty dishes of hers stacked in front of the TV. And now there are maggots on her dirty dishes and the decomposition really stinks the whole flat! She's just extremely lazy, pampered and undisciplined. Now I don't even want to go to the kitchen anymore. If I die of eating too much crisp it's Stephenie's fault!
Sunday, June 4
Summer
Life after exams has been more boring than I thought. I finished Dean Kootnz's Life Expectancy in two days. Not really explosive but the plot was ok... a bit scarry reading it alone at 2am. The weather's been really really warm these few days and staying indoor is just like roasting yourself in the oven. Yesterday was the first time that I actually enjoyed the sunshine. I went for a barbeque in Pip and Mick's garden in Salford. It was good! I didn't really eat much (I'm a shy eater in public). Glad that my nasi goreng I made was finished. Talking to people was the biggest enjoyment. I talked to the refugee doctors that I've known through Reache and that I've not known. Also chatted with the neighbours who came, other few medical students who were there and some other doctors. I even met one of my communication skills tutor there. And of course, like I always do, I played with children. I also learnt some Rwanda and Iraqi traditional dance. It was really relaxing and can't describe it but I really had fun. And I have my first suntan in England after 5 hrs under the sun!
O yeah... I should mention about the tram ride as well. Yesterday I experienced the worst tram ride that I've ever had. There was a pre-world cup friendly match between England and Jamaica at Old Trafford (Manchester United's Stadium). It was horrendous. I waited at St Peter's square for four trams to Eccles before I could actually board. Every tram that came and gone was full and has absolutely got no room for anymore passenger. After the departure of the forth tram, I was just so fed up and promise myself that I'm going to get in no matter how full it is. And I did. I literally had to squeeze myself into the tram between people like a sponge. The tram ride itself, as you might have expect, is not pleasant at all. Even on my way back, people were just chanting, singing and swearing loadly in the tram... Don't feel comfortable at all. For that reason, I don't think I'll be betting on England this worldcup.
O yeah... I should mention about the tram ride as well. Yesterday I experienced the worst tram ride that I've ever had. There was a pre-world cup friendly match between England and Jamaica at Old Trafford (Manchester United's Stadium). It was horrendous. I waited at St Peter's square for four trams to Eccles before I could actually board. Every tram that came and gone was full and has absolutely got no room for anymore passenger. After the departure of the forth tram, I was just so fed up and promise myself that I'm going to get in no matter how full it is. And I did. I literally had to squeeze myself into the tram between people like a sponge. The tram ride itself, as you might have expect, is not pleasant at all. Even on my way back, people were just chanting, singing and swearing loadly in the tram... Don't feel comfortable at all. For that reason, I don't think I'll be betting on England this worldcup.
Wednesday, May 31
Exam is over
Exam = evil. Each time there's an exam, I'd start thinking that I don't want to be a doctor anymore. I'd have to live with that thought for another at least 15 times. I used to be much more resilient when I was in college. I do get upset over revising but motivation was always sky high. Now I've just lost everything. Can you believe that I only started serious revision on Monday (that was the day before my semester 2 paper)? People won't believe me because I always seemed to know my stuff in the weekly PBL discussion. O well, time to rethink the protrayal of my nerdy personality - very misleading.
Overall the exams went OK. For the progress test, as usual, I was more than ecstatic to know (or even heard of) about 4-5 questions as it was a test of knowledge to be learnt from year 1-5. OSCE was a bit upsetting. I screwed up the blood pressure and pulse station. It's actually not a big deal as it was only one of the nine stations and almost everyone that I spoke to said they did badly for that station as well. The thing that pissed me off is that I've put in so much effort practising blood pressure taking (I even invested in a sphygmomanometer) and still end up failing to show my competence (Silly me, I even cried when I came back to my room). The good news is that I know I've got full mark for at least 3 stations: Radiograph, handwashing and anatomy. The revision for semester 2 test was a bit of a nightmare. I didn't have the motivation to open the books at all. I've only managed to force myself to sit down and cramp things into my head the day before the paper. I thought the paper was ok, again with doubts here and there. But as I was telling Cheng, judging from the effort I put in, I don't really expect an honour grade again. I'd be more than happy with a pass.
So exam's over and done with. I meant to go to the medics end of year party last night but didn't in the end. It's because I just lost the mood when Cheng told me that Yee Leng's admitted into hospital because she has loads of big ulcers on her throat that she couldn't eat, drink, talk or hear properly. It just scared me. The A&E doctor's comment that the ulcers were 'not normal' just made my feel worse. I talked to Yee Leng today through the phone and she sounded OK. Hopefully it's just some stress-exaggerated infection. Eventhough Yee Leng's a bit annoying at times, I have to say that I do care for her as well as everyone else in my family and I want her to be alright.
I went to return some books in the Stopford library today. It was so heavy and that was only six books! There are nine more library books in my room that I need to return. Then I went to walk around at the city centre, got so bored and wander into the Manchester Art Gallery. It's a really nice place and it's really hard to describe how art can convey abstract things like feeling and atmosphere. Then this man from China came up to me and ask if I'm from China. So I was caught into the usual conversation about being from Malaysia and studying here in Manchester University. He actually told me that I looked 'ancient'. I'll let u interpret what it means coz I haven't got a clue.
After that, I went for a PLAN meeting in Reache, Hope Hospital. Another good session, learnt so much about the kidneys today. I was interviewed by Ken who is doing his fourth year project option to evaluate the weekly sessions. One of his questions was (unsurprisingly) why do I attend these weekly sessions. I said something about improving my communication skills and meeting people. Yet, ultimately I think my primary motivation is still to help people in need. Especially for refugees, what we are doing during these weekly sessions can really turn their life around and improve their quality of life, which I think is really a necessity for every human being. Another thing is that I feel really flattered having people praising about my good English. One of the many barrier these refugee doctors have to overcome is the proficiency in English and most spent three/four years just to pick up English. So naturally, many of them were surprised to learn that I have only set foot in England about 9 months ago judging from the standard of English that I speak. I think I do pick up a language rather quickly, but the main thing that allowed me to know how the proper spoken English works is Choral Speaking in form 4. It taught me things like long vowel and differentiating between the 't' and 'th' sounds. These are very fundamental but unfortunately grossly neglected in the education system. Thanks to my three months of grueling Choral Speaking training, not only that I can declare myself a national champion, I am also now able to express myself with confidence and even match the standard of the Mat Salleh's English.
Overall the exams went OK. For the progress test, as usual, I was more than ecstatic to know (or even heard of) about 4-5 questions as it was a test of knowledge to be learnt from year 1-5. OSCE was a bit upsetting. I screwed up the blood pressure and pulse station. It's actually not a big deal as it was only one of the nine stations and almost everyone that I spoke to said they did badly for that station as well. The thing that pissed me off is that I've put in so much effort practising blood pressure taking (I even invested in a sphygmomanometer) and still end up failing to show my competence (Silly me, I even cried when I came back to my room). The good news is that I know I've got full mark for at least 3 stations: Radiograph, handwashing and anatomy. The revision for semester 2 test was a bit of a nightmare. I didn't have the motivation to open the books at all. I've only managed to force myself to sit down and cramp things into my head the day before the paper. I thought the paper was ok, again with doubts here and there. But as I was telling Cheng, judging from the effort I put in, I don't really expect an honour grade again. I'd be more than happy with a pass.
So exam's over and done with. I meant to go to the medics end of year party last night but didn't in the end. It's because I just lost the mood when Cheng told me that Yee Leng's admitted into hospital because she has loads of big ulcers on her throat that she couldn't eat, drink, talk or hear properly. It just scared me. The A&E doctor's comment that the ulcers were 'not normal' just made my feel worse. I talked to Yee Leng today through the phone and she sounded OK. Hopefully it's just some stress-exaggerated infection. Eventhough Yee Leng's a bit annoying at times, I have to say that I do care for her as well as everyone else in my family and I want her to be alright.
I went to return some books in the Stopford library today. It was so heavy and that was only six books! There are nine more library books in my room that I need to return. Then I went to walk around at the city centre, got so bored and wander into the Manchester Art Gallery. It's a really nice place and it's really hard to describe how art can convey abstract things like feeling and atmosphere. Then this man from China came up to me and ask if I'm from China. So I was caught into the usual conversation about being from Malaysia and studying here in Manchester University. He actually told me that I looked 'ancient'. I'll let u interpret what it means coz I haven't got a clue.
After that, I went for a PLAN meeting in Reache, Hope Hospital. Another good session, learnt so much about the kidneys today. I was interviewed by Ken who is doing his fourth year project option to evaluate the weekly sessions. One of his questions was (unsurprisingly) why do I attend these weekly sessions. I said something about improving my communication skills and meeting people. Yet, ultimately I think my primary motivation is still to help people in need. Especially for refugees, what we are doing during these weekly sessions can really turn their life around and improve their quality of life, which I think is really a necessity for every human being. Another thing is that I feel really flattered having people praising about my good English. One of the many barrier these refugee doctors have to overcome is the proficiency in English and most spent three/four years just to pick up English. So naturally, many of them were surprised to learn that I have only set foot in England about 9 months ago judging from the standard of English that I speak. I think I do pick up a language rather quickly, but the main thing that allowed me to know how the proper spoken English works is Choral Speaking in form 4. It taught me things like long vowel and differentiating between the 't' and 'th' sounds. These are very fundamental but unfortunately grossly neglected in the education system. Thanks to my three months of grueling Choral Speaking training, not only that I can declare myself a national champion, I am also now able to express myself with confidence and even match the standard of the Mat Salleh's English.
Wednesday, May 10
Can't get my head around
I don't know why but I just can't keep focused. I really can't remember how many times have I told myself that I ought to revise the cases but I just end up lazying around the internet or wasting time. Now I haven't even started on the cases... Other people are studying so so so seriously now... Yet it just doesn't push me to do the same. That's why I'm getting quite worried right now, especially when the progress test will be on next on monday, which is 4 days away. I'm still wasting lots of time doing non-academic activities, like teaching year 9 CPR with HeartStart this morning and just came back from the TeddyBear Hospital thing. I'm now waiting for time to pass in the microlab until 4pm, which then I'll go to Hope Hospital for Reache by bus and tram. I tried going to the library but only to end up feeling restless.
I need good motivation. Hope that I'd find it at Reache later on, somehow.
I need good motivation. Hope that I'd find it at Reache later on, somehow.
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