Wednesday, June 27

Year 2 results

At last, the results of year 2 medical exams are out.

Semester 3 test: Honours
Semester 4 test: Honours
Progress test (Sem 3): Honours
Progress test (Sem 4): Distinction
OSCE (Sem 3): Satisfactory
SSC (Sem 4): Satisfactory

Overall: 2 Honour points

I'm really delighted about my first distinction ever in medical school. Way to go for me!

Saturday, June 9

My sisters

I've long wanted to write about my four younger sisters.


This first photo is taken in 2005 I think in Langkawi before I flew to England for the first time. Clockwise from left: Wan Lee, Yee Leng, Yee Yen (me), Wan Cheng and Wan Teng.



Yee Leng is two years younger than me and is currently working as a Kindergarten teacher and a part time tuition teacher. I think she's the only one out of the five of us who thinks success in life = earning lots of money and be a strong businesswoman that sort of thing. In everything she does, she does her best. Very talented in creative stuff, she's not particularly as academically gifted as some of us in the family are. I can imagine that this has been quite hard for her because mummy (especially) tend to compare her results with my results, eventhough I think her results is always already quite good. Mummy expects almost perfect results (like straight As equivalent) and this often upsets herself and Yee Leng. Yet, Yee Leng shines in the world outside the academia. She was a national level drama champion in secondary school. She often impressed her boss when she did part time sales job after SPM, and seems to excel in dealing with people. She is also the only one the family who has several boyfriends and break ups already. Always seen quarrelling with papa, her opinions are sometimes brushed off because papa thinks that 'she's not mature enough', and Yee Leng has learnt avoiding talking to papa. She plans to study Mass Communication and find a job related to public relation earn lots of money in the future.

Wan Cheng is two years younger than Yee Leng. She's a bit like me, always work hard and often lucky enough to be rewarded with good results in exams (up to mummy's expectation at least). But she doesn't seem to be as lucky as I am. For example, I got into BBGS/Seri Bintang Utara at my first attempt while she didn't manage that after several attempts. (She nevertheless made full use of her time at Seri Bintang Selatan.) She also didn't manage to get a scholarship to study medicine even with her starling results. I feel guilty at times because it feels to me as if I have stolen all her luck. Wan Cheng basically gets along well with everyone in the family, I think because of her ability to listen well and adapt in situations. She also learn Taekwondo and Piano like me - and she's now at higher grades than me in both things! I tell her lots of stuff about my course and she gets really fascinated by physiology, pharmacology, neuroscience stuff. She's potentially a deep thinker and has a great ambition of establishing herself as a scientific researcher. She has just started Biomedical Sciences in UTAR. And I should also say that she's obviously lucky enough to have a high metabolic rate - no matter how much she eats she would not go fat!

Wan Lee is three years younger than Wan Cheng. She's still in form 3 in SMK Cheras. She used to be very shy, timid and have low self esteem back in primary school. It could be due to the competitive chinese primary school environment where if you are not exceptionally good in your studies, you would not be valued. I pointed that out to her at the start of her secondary school and encourage her to voice out her opinion. Now radical changes has happened to this young lady. Wan Lee holds important position in her school's librarian board and is among the top students in her class. I'm so proud of her. She's now not afraid to say what she thinks and would argue with me at times though she's ultimately a peace lover- it's still actually quite hard to get her aggressively fired up about something. She's clearly a good singer, having won numerous prizes for singing and choir competition. She's also progressing well in violin. She's not yet reveal her real talent in life and she's not sure what she'd like to be in the future. But she did tell me that the learnt violin because she wants to join some philharmonic orchestra... I assumed that that's a back up plan? Anyway bright future for this young lady who has transformed into a well opinionated person who has a sense of purpose in her life.

Wan Teng, as also known as Miss Manja, is three years younger than Wan Lee, and 10 years younger than me. Everyone in the family would describe her as intelligent but lazy. I would even say that she's more intelligent than I am. But she doesn't really care whether she gets into the top class or not and things like that. And I think that's perfectly fine as she should be enjoying childhood while in primary school. Just have to be careful not to let her make the lackadaisical attitude a habit. Eventhough she usually gets what she wants as the youngest in the family, she's quite sensible in knowing what to do and what not to do. For example, as a prefect in standard five, she's told me once that she stood up against a standard six prefect because the older prefect was abusing her power to punish students. She loves playing badminton with me, but I hate playing with her because she's so lousy. (But I will still play with her because other people in the family are too lazy to get out of the house). She's very active in her school choir and has won a few competitions. I bought a diary for her a few years ago and she writes very cute and interesting entries, and I notice her English vocabulary expanding. She's asked me not to fly back home on the 14th of June because it's her birthday - to avoid me getting all the attention -how childish!


Finally, my sisters and I would not be who we are today without mummy and papa. Don't be deceived by their apparently happy faces in the picture. They have somewhat similar yet clashing opinions resulting in them having cold and outright war in the house through the years. I sometimes disagree with them but now am having more and more 'adult chat' with them. I'm hoping to be able to apply those Cognitive Behavioural Therapy/Counselling/Psychotherapy skills I've learnt to resolve their problems. It's going to be hard, but I really want my parents to be happy after all they've done for the all of us. Wish me luck and I shall look forward to a perfect happy family by the end of my summer vacation. (Too idealistic...)

Monday, June 4

Examining life

Bearing in mind that I will be super free and relaxed for the next two weeks before I head back to KL, I went to the Manchester central library today to borrow a few books. The book I am reading at the moment is called Philosophy for Dummies.

I have actually done bits of philosophy in MARA College Banting as part of the Theory of Knowledge (TOK) subject in the International Baccalaureate programme. Fascinating subject, never had enough of it. I remember enjoying myself thinking hard to come up with coherent arguments in TOK. We debated lots of random topics on dream, sources of knowledge, abortion, the hudud law, pornography, languages, perception, ethics, first human landing on the moon etc. I only wish that we were allocated as much time to study TOK as math or chemistry.

I took this book today after having an interesting conversation with Lizz yesterday on metaphysics. Lizz is a medical student in Bristol who has just finished her intercalated degree on Medical Humanities and English Literature. I know in college many of my friends simply don't see the point of having such 'time-wasting' subject like TOK, and I can see why. Sometimes you can just go on and on arguing for ages without coming to any conclusion, or worse find yourself back to square one.

Personally I wouldn't spend years studying a degree on philosophy but it can be something very nice to think and write about in my free time. I recall when I was four or five years old, I was playing with a neighbour kid (HanHan) at the front yard, and soon her mother called his name and ask him to go back home. Then it suddenly occured to me the questions: Why am I me? Why am I not born as HanHan? What if I have my body but a mind of HanHan or vice versa? Why do I only call my own parents papa and mummy ever since I was born and not respond to other parents? I don't remember the moment I was born: Could there be someone else sitting in my body then? Why is it that I can control what I want to think and I can control my own body, but I can't control what HanHan thinks and does, or that of my sisters? And again, why am I myself, not HanHan or my other sisters? I ran into the house and asked papa these questions. He said "I don't know, you'll have to ask God". Well, he didn't mean it because our family don't believe in God. I didn't think much about it until college time when we study TOK. I've also been examining these things since my late teens by reading religious books (mainly on Buddhism).

Am I still the same person as I was at four years of age? Yes, because I've still not resolved those questions and no, because I'm different now in that I have opinions, skills, knowledge, life principle and more questions. Sometimes when I reflect upon what I've achieved in life, I couldn't believe that I am actually myself. Looking at my own reflection on the mirror, this person actually looks fairly pretty, confident, perfect almost, and she has proven to be rather intelligent, hardworking and ambitious. She simply couldn't be me! She is someone I've envisioned myself to be back in school. I want to be like her but... am I her now? Obviously yes, I have achieved my vision and I am her. But what now? Mmmm good question Yee Yen, what now? Maybe I should keep on refusing to believe that the person in the mirror and Yee Yen that everyone knows at this moment is in fact not myself.

Stress over

Exams are over and I'm feeling much more relaxed now. Don't ask me how exams went.

I've just came back from the Medsin South West Training Day with Joel and Tolani. Trainers from Manchester (Tolani, Joel and I), Peninsula (Sarah and Jen) and Bristol (Lizzy) joined forces to conduct a training for medical schools in the South West of England. It was held at Exeter on Saturday. Both the trainers and the trainees had an amazing time. I ran a workshop on Leadership with Tolani and another workshop on Teambuilding and Communication with Sarah. I am so glad that people enjoyed the games I created and was really pleased meeting and working togather with people I met in TNT. Here are some pictures taken on the training day.