Day out with the ambulance

One of the most memorable days in my attachment with A&E is my day out with the ambulance. I joined a two man crew for the whole day, J and S - a paramedic and a technician respectively. They were proper gentlemen and took care of me well. It was a fairly busy day, one job after another. I thought riding in a blue light ambulance would have been a thrill, and it was – only that I was busy focusing to look far ahead out the window to prevent myself from getting sick. We had the sort of routine collapse, chest pain etc.

After lunchtime, we received a call for an unresponsive baby. We arrived very quickly, within minutes. The sense of urgency loomed in when we actually saw the baby. The father was holding an extremely pale two month old baby. It turned out that the baby had been like that for half an hour. At that point we knew we really need to speed up and get to the hospital quick. J quickly asked mum to get into the ambulance. The other baby she was holding cried as she passed him on to dad, and mum said she would call dad. Until that point, my role with the crew was only as an observer. But the paramedic could really do with another pair of hands in this life-threatening situation. So I connected the oxygen and did the chest compression while J dealt with other things. S alerted the ED and drove off. I was nervous. I have read about it, but I have not been formally trained in immediate paediatrics life support. J just taught me how to do it then and there. That was helpful as this allows J to concentrate on maintaining a patent airway. The airway was really good – there was good bilateral chest expansion, but only after we manage to make a mess of the vehicle because J couldn’t find the oropharyngeal airway of the right size. I caught a glimpse of the teenage mum wiping her tears. ECG was disappointing, asystole all the way. After a few minutes of roller coastal ride, we made it to the ED and lots of doctors and nurses were already anticipating at resus. J delivered the baby and gave a brief history. I watched the team commence the resuscitation for a minute or two. Then J and S went out of the resus, so I thought I better follow. We went back to the vehicle, J and S started typing the ambulance report and tidying up. They were not very chatty but pretended to look fine. I stood at the side and also kept quiet. J asked if I was alright, and said I can have a brew if I wanted. I said OK. But in fact I didn’t go for a brew. I felt shaken, I went to my locker and have a gulp of water. Then I went back to resus expecting the worst. The registrar was walking out, so I asked him how the baby was. He just shoke his head. I was speechless. I went back to the ambulance to tell them. They both carried on doing what they were doing. Then the ED consultant came up to the ambulance to check if we were alright. After about half an hour we went back to the ambulance station. The three of us sat down to have a chat. It was the first time for S to encounter death of an infant too. He said he just felt strange. J had been a paramedic for 30 odd years and had seen quite a few of these before and had never seen any survive. But I still saw him staring at the television, not watching the programme but contemplating on something else. The other ambulance staff was really understanding. They showed concern and tried to cheer us up. Was there anything that we could have done differently? Possibly, but it probably wouldn’t have changed the outcome. The three of us sat there quietly with our thoughts until the next call.

It was an interesting day. I felt more acquainted with the crew and learnt quite a bit from them. But I cannot deny that I was rather traumatized by the death of the baby. I didn’t know the baby’s name, didn’t know whether the baby was a girl or a boy. I knew the baby was still warm when I did the chest compression. And sadly it is no longer the case. Like the others I pretended that I was fine in front of everyone. It was only when I was alone in my bed room that it all sunk in. We have not managed to save the baby. And we had left the mum, dad, baby brother and grandparents very heartbroken indeed.