Have I reached my limit?

I would like to think I haven't but I'm not sure. My life definitely need sorting out now. It's just a problem of the balancing act, a vital component of being a medic. Since starting the clinical year, I've been feeling really exhausted everyday. I normally wake up at 5am just to do some reading and get ready, and then go out at 7:15am to catch the bus to reach the hospital at 8:30am. Then I don't leave the hospital until about 4:30-5pm, and usually reach home at about 7:30-8pm. As you can imagine, I'd be totally drained off by then that I would mess around with the computer for a while then go to bed. If I'm not too worn out, I might cook something or shower. If I need to do some any assignment for the next day, I would wake up at 2:30am to do it.

So, for the past few weeks, I haven't been eating or resting well. My standard of hygiene has fallen, and my room is in a big mess.

Plus, I feel bad that I'm not doing enough for medsin as I hold the vice president post. To be honest, I don't really know what the way forward is. My job is to liase with the projects and make sure the projects get the support they need. The thing is no one from the project has contacted me for help, so I assumed that they're all doing ok. I'm not really looking for work to do at the moment. I know I should be communicating more frequently with the projects but I just have no energy or time left to do that. In addition, I have my own Crossing Borders project to coordinate (At the same time, Gemma the co-coordinator is also have a stress-related break down). Also, there seems to be a communication problem within the medsin manchester committee. I have a feeling that people are not too happy with me but they are not saying it. This is really frustrating because everyone may think that I'm a bitch but I don't know what the problem is. Medsin is a constant source of headache I wonder why I took up the position in the first place. And for the past two weekends, I've been away from Manchester to attend national medsin events.

Luckily papa and mummy relationship problem has eased off a bit. It was quite emotionally taxing to be a mediator between the two of them over the summer.

So, as for last week, I was at least still quite motivated to read through stuff I've picked up in the ward and clinics. But now I just don't feel like doing anything. The medical team in the ward is nice. Janet who is a consultant has learnt my name and has started to boss me around to do stuff in the ward, but I like it. The other doctors have been really kind to me as well that now I'm beginnning to feel like part of the team. Maybe that's why I feel that I need to know everything I've learnt in the ward in order to not appear stupid.

I have yet to tear but I'm having a really hard time controlling it. Hopefully I'll be able to get some good rest this weekend and get my balance right again.