Even before coming to Manchester, I'd already sort of made up my mind about clubs that i was going to join. I'd canoed twice before during camps in secondary school and I enjoyed it very much, so the Caneoing Club was on my list. But I drop the idea after learning that I have to pass a swimming test first (thats swimming for a 50m lap). I don't know whether I'd actually finish the course considering that I always go really breathless after swimming for a distance of around 30-40m. When I was in Malaysia, I was also quite determined to continue learning taekwondo here, only to be let down by a demonstration. The taekwondo style here is just too different that I'm not sure whether I can adjust to it or not.
Browsing through the freshers' fair, I was actually quite attracted to some of the clubs, which include the Nightline, the Choral, Scouts n Guides Society etc. I ended up signing up for the Malaysian Society (which cost me about £3 - but I never hear from them again...), Buddhist Society (which I havn't taken part in any of their activities yet), CAOS - Choir and Orchestra Society (which I'm still a sleeping member for now, but I'll definitely have a look one day since Lauren's asked... n it sounded quite fun) and The Socialist Workers Society (actually just attracted to the anti-bush, anti-third-world debt, anti-G8 things). I haven't been active in any of those clubs. On my way out of the student union building, I was dragged and pestered by someone to join the Party Animal club. To be honest, I hated the name of the club (It sounds so improper..) but so far the activities has been good. I took part in the badminton session they organised at a really cheap rate n got to meet really nice people.
On the other hand, I signed up as a volunteer for quite a number of Medsin projects. After attending Medsin Explained, I was just so excited about the many activities that match my interest. I joined the After School Club, which gives academic tuition to the local Somali refugees, because I think it won't that up that much of time (only an hour per week). I'd also signed up for Heartstart, which teaches 13-14 year old kids Basic Life Support. I think it'd certainly brush up my BLS as well as my communication skills. I'd just attended the first training for Heartstart and I found the people that I know from that occasion simply great! In addition, I'd put my name on the Chernobly Children's Project (CCP) and the Teddybear Doctor Project. I have yet to hear from the Teddybear thing but I'm thinking of dropping the CCP thing because it'll be quite time consuming for me, not to mention the inconvenience of always having to attend the meeting down at Fallowfield...
I'd always have a great interest and passion about doing voluntary social work, people who know me should be able to tell. But I really don't want to simply dwell in voluntary work through out uni life and miss out on opportunities to participate in more exciting activities... Yet i just couldn't let go of any opportunity for me to volunteer... maybe I should just follow my instict until one day I get sick of it...
Monday, October 10
Sunday, October 2
Roaming around Manchester again
I find myself quite restless these days. I thought I like to enjoy the peace and quiet in my private study room, but turn out that the longer I stay in my room, the more time I waste, and worse, the more water I drink n the more food(mostly rubbish) I consume. So I ended up going out to the city centre of Manchester early in the morning on Saturday. I bought a badminton racquet and intended to look around n buy some warm clothing n some sports clothing (including swimming suit). Unfortunately I was too undecisive and finally left with nothing. After that I went to a shop in China town n bought some tomyam paste, toufu, a scoop n soya sauce. The weather during that particular morning was terrible. It was raining quite heavily n the wind was so strong that I can see so many people's umbrella breaking! Can u imagine how cold I was? But it was over the moment I board the bus from Piccadilly to MRI. On that evening, Ai Ling, Pei Lian, Mei Lin, Yi Yian n I went to the other seniors' house at Longsight. We spent the whole evening there chatting away and having tea while the others gambled (Very low bet: ranging 1p to 50p). After coming back to Whitworth Park, I served Yi Yian n Ai Ling fried rice with the left over soup. I was flattered when they told me that my cooking was 'professional'... We continued to talk until around 1:30am in the room after dinner. Yi Yian slept over in my room because it was too creepy to go back so late at nite. At the middle of the nite (about half past 4) the fire alarm set off.. I think it was the drunken people at the neighbooring flat who set off the alarm...
This morning, I went off to Fallowfield - Armitage Sports Centre to play badminton. It was great knowing people through the game. I met Raymond - who was my partner n my opponents - Carol of China n Nic of Manchester. I was a bit disappointed that I sweated so little even after the long continuous 1 n a half hour play. On the way back, I met Pei Lian n she invited me over to her place for lunch. She served me porridge mixed with some onions. meat n carrots. She was quite worried that it's not going to be good but actually these days, I don't really care about taste anymore - as long as the rite nutrient gets into my body. Then, before going back, I explored Fallowfield a bit n shopped in Sainsbury for a while. It's basically a nice place to shop - great variety yet I find the goods a bit too expensive compared to stores like Asda n Lidl. By the time took a bus back to the City campus n I reach my room, it was already around half past 5. I was so exhausted (considering that I never slept well the nite before).
This morning, I went off to Fallowfield - Armitage Sports Centre to play badminton. It was great knowing people through the game. I met Raymond - who was my partner n my opponents - Carol of China n Nic of Manchester. I was a bit disappointed that I sweated so little even after the long continuous 1 n a half hour play. On the way back, I met Pei Lian n she invited me over to her place for lunch. She served me porridge mixed with some onions. meat n carrots. She was quite worried that it's not going to be good but actually these days, I don't really care about taste anymore - as long as the rite nutrient gets into my body. Then, before going back, I explored Fallowfield a bit n shopped in Sainsbury for a while. It's basically a nice place to shop - great variety yet I find the goods a bit too expensive compared to stores like Asda n Lidl. By the time took a bus back to the City campus n I reach my room, it was already around half past 5. I was so exhausted (considering that I never slept well the nite before).
Friday, September 30
Very tiring day...
Actually I'm not supposed to be tired but somehow I am. I'd just cooked a complete proper meal for myself for dinner: 1 soup, 1 greens with ham and rice. Doesn't sound too sophisticated, does it? It took my nearly an hour and a half to finish cooking... That's excluding the washing time. That's why I'm so exhausted rite now. Yet I feel happy because I can finally cook a decent meal for myself (Decent enough by a beginner's standard).
Another reason I'm being so tired is that I'd spent almost all nite working on my PBL training case. I don't know why was I so enthusiated about it... It may be my perfectionist attitude that's messing around again (U know.. Yee Yen must be so perfect that she can't afford to miss a single information or she'll die..). However I'm quite happy to say that my hardwork has paid off. I thoroughly enjoyed the PBL today. I contributed so much of info n knowledge that I read through these two days for the case (Though I did blurt some craps...totally stupid..). I guess, to think again, I went searching so much info because I don't want to look or sound too stupid, but I guess judging from today's session, I'd clearly overworked at least by a bit. At the beginning I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to present the information I researched because I barely had enough time to digest it - I stopped researching at 9am n PBL's on 10am. I even tried presenting out aloud in my room during the one hour gap. But it turned out to be ok. My PBL-mates were awesome. The chair for the day, Viv, was really good as he went around asking people for info so none of us would feel left out. At first I was a bit...u know...tergagap-gagap, but it went more or less smoother after the warm up. I was quite impressed at myself being able to fully understand some of the knowledge and explained it explicitly to my PBL-mates without even referring to notes, like stuff about statin, lipoprotein, protein synthesis etc. All of us also seemed to be able to work togather quite coherantly. John was especially supportive for me... I don't know whether he's done it on purpose or not but he gave me two big thumb ups after I explained something about the HDL n LDL.. really made me feel so good! I also want to express my gratitude to my other PBL-mates (Adil, Lauren, Rachel, Rhys, Jeff, Tom, Uzo, Anisha, Viv n Claire) for making this PBL such a success. Thanks also to Dr Melissa Westwood for being such a encouraging n helpful tutor (Was a bit disappointed when she told us that she's not gonna be our tutor for this semester).
On the other hand, dissection was quite a blunder today. We were taught the positioning terms for anatomy n it's as if I completely lost sense of orientation. Each round after learning some terms, Philip (our anatomy demonstrator) would test all of us to see whether we understand the concept. I think I got 3 out of 4 wrong. The worse thing is that I'd actually read about these terms a few days before...I was so embarassed to tell anyone about that.. I'm so used to seeing the movement of the upper limbs in the book that when I was asked questions regarding the hip and the knee, I can't do it.. I think I ought to spend more time grasping the concepts this weekend. I'm not going to allow this to happen again next week!
Another reason I'm being so tired is that I'd spent almost all nite working on my PBL training case. I don't know why was I so enthusiated about it... It may be my perfectionist attitude that's messing around again (U know.. Yee Yen must be so perfect that she can't afford to miss a single information or she'll die..). However I'm quite happy to say that my hardwork has paid off. I thoroughly enjoyed the PBL today. I contributed so much of info n knowledge that I read through these two days for the case (Though I did blurt some craps...totally stupid..). I guess, to think again, I went searching so much info because I don't want to look or sound too stupid, but I guess judging from today's session, I'd clearly overworked at least by a bit. At the beginning I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to present the information I researched because I barely had enough time to digest it - I stopped researching at 9am n PBL's on 10am. I even tried presenting out aloud in my room during the one hour gap. But it turned out to be ok. My PBL-mates were awesome. The chair for the day, Viv, was really good as he went around asking people for info so none of us would feel left out. At first I was a bit...u know...tergagap-gagap, but it went more or less smoother after the warm up. I was quite impressed at myself being able to fully understand some of the knowledge and explained it explicitly to my PBL-mates without even referring to notes, like stuff about statin, lipoprotein, protein synthesis etc. All of us also seemed to be able to work togather quite coherantly. John was especially supportive for me... I don't know whether he's done it on purpose or not but he gave me two big thumb ups after I explained something about the HDL n LDL.. really made me feel so good! I also want to express my gratitude to my other PBL-mates (Adil, Lauren, Rachel, Rhys, Jeff, Tom, Uzo, Anisha, Viv n Claire) for making this PBL such a success. Thanks also to Dr Melissa Westwood for being such a encouraging n helpful tutor (Was a bit disappointed when she told us that she's not gonna be our tutor for this semester).
On the other hand, dissection was quite a blunder today. We were taught the positioning terms for anatomy n it's as if I completely lost sense of orientation. Each round after learning some terms, Philip (our anatomy demonstrator) would test all of us to see whether we understand the concept. I think I got 3 out of 4 wrong. The worse thing is that I'd actually read about these terms a few days before...I was so embarassed to tell anyone about that.. I'm so used to seeing the movement of the upper limbs in the book that when I was asked questions regarding the hip and the knee, I can't do it.. I think I ought to spend more time grasping the concepts this weekend. I'm not going to allow this to happen again next week!
Wednesday, September 28
It's not so bad after all ...
Mom read my previous entry and she was a bit worried... I guess she never realize that the sad stuff I posted might have been exaggerated. After all, I don't expect anyone to take my words seriously. Anyway, I'm gonna write something pleasant now... just for a change in the blog atmosphere.
My first PBL training case - Polly's dilemma had been really fun. The topic was quite an easy and friendly one - something about rainbow, how it forms, how children learn, colour blind and professional responsiblities. Honestly, that's when I really discover the significance of 'others might know what u don't know' because all these while I'd been arrogant enough to think that I can see everything that everyone else can or can't see. I'd read the case quite a number of time and the idea of the kid in the case being possibly colour blind hadn't strike me even once until Rachel pointed out during the PBL session... In fact, that was actually the core problem that we were trying to understand in that case n I haven't even notice it... How foolish of me... Nevertheless, I contributed quite a lot of ideas and opinion to the group and I feel happy n satisfied of doing that...simply because I felt my existance valued. My tutor, Dr Melissa Westwood had been really helpful n considerate too. She actually asked me whether I had a problem with the term 'primary school' ... I think it's because the term defines an age group, in this case 5-11 for UK while if put in the context of Malaysian education system this would define an age group of 7-12.
Last weekend had really been a busy but fun one. On Saturday morning, I walked alone to Asda (Hulme) to buy my kitchen utensils and a duvet. I'd been quite proud to actually courageously roam around the city all by myself after settling down in Manchester for barely a fortnight. Then, during noon, Ai Ling n I went to shop at the city centre (Arndale shopping centre). There, I bought a duvet cover, a sheet set, a scientific calculator, a set of 10 hangers and an Adidas backpack all from Argos. Guess what? I only spent less than £40 for all of that...what an amazing feat of budgeting! For the rest of the nite before retiring, we spent a great time eating home cooked dishes in our chinese seniors' (Rom, Tiong n PuiSan) house. I was like half died by the time I go to bed.
On the next morning, I went fruit picking in a place called Cheshire with the Malay seniors: Mariam, Tika, Ida, Zai and some third n forth year seniors whose names I can't recall. It was an exciting trip. I'd never eaten a fruit that's been freshly plucked in my entire life. There were strawberries, apples, pears and raspberry. We spent have a day picking and eating the fruits before finally returning to Whitworth Park. Later I enjoyed a free lunch in the seniors' flat. (I had been getting loads of free meals since I landed in Manchester :).
After the pleasant n sensational weekend, it's back to serious business again. We started out second PBL training case yesterday n it's proven to be much more challenging than the first one. It's not just plain talking this time. We have to go back n seek for info about the learning objective we've defined. I'm currently working on it n I find it somewhat difficult because we were not told exactly how deep do we need to know. When I open the biochemistry book, it's really quite shocking to see so many technical terms n complicated charts which I'd never seen. It almost look it a book written in a foreign language to me. But I think I'll do fine. I'll just have to sit down (shutdown the computer, hide it far far away) n patiently read through the paragraphs to grasp the concept. I'm confident that I'll do fine. Even if it's not fine, I'm sure it'd be fine. After all they don't call it the 'training case' for nothing, do they?
Rite.. I think it's time for me to signoff n open my books. I'll update this as frequently as I can.
My first PBL training case - Polly's dilemma had been really fun. The topic was quite an easy and friendly one - something about rainbow, how it forms, how children learn, colour blind and professional responsiblities. Honestly, that's when I really discover the significance of 'others might know what u don't know' because all these while I'd been arrogant enough to think that I can see everything that everyone else can or can't see. I'd read the case quite a number of time and the idea of the kid in the case being possibly colour blind hadn't strike me even once until Rachel pointed out during the PBL session... In fact, that was actually the core problem that we were trying to understand in that case n I haven't even notice it... How foolish of me... Nevertheless, I contributed quite a lot of ideas and opinion to the group and I feel happy n satisfied of doing that...simply because I felt my existance valued. My tutor, Dr Melissa Westwood had been really helpful n considerate too. She actually asked me whether I had a problem with the term 'primary school' ... I think it's because the term defines an age group, in this case 5-11 for UK while if put in the context of Malaysian education system this would define an age group of 7-12.
Last weekend had really been a busy but fun one. On Saturday morning, I walked alone to Asda (Hulme) to buy my kitchen utensils and a duvet. I'd been quite proud to actually courageously roam around the city all by myself after settling down in Manchester for barely a fortnight. Then, during noon, Ai Ling n I went to shop at the city centre (Arndale shopping centre). There, I bought a duvet cover, a sheet set, a scientific calculator, a set of 10 hangers and an Adidas backpack all from Argos. Guess what? I only spent less than £40 for all of that...what an amazing feat of budgeting! For the rest of the nite before retiring, we spent a great time eating home cooked dishes in our chinese seniors' (Rom, Tiong n PuiSan) house. I was like half died by the time I go to bed.
On the next morning, I went fruit picking in a place called Cheshire with the Malay seniors: Mariam, Tika, Ida, Zai and some third n forth year seniors whose names I can't recall. It was an exciting trip. I'd never eaten a fruit that's been freshly plucked in my entire life. There were strawberries, apples, pears and raspberry. We spent have a day picking and eating the fruits before finally returning to Whitworth Park. Later I enjoyed a free lunch in the seniors' flat. (I had been getting loads of free meals since I landed in Manchester :).
After the pleasant n sensational weekend, it's back to serious business again. We started out second PBL training case yesterday n it's proven to be much more challenging than the first one. It's not just plain talking this time. We have to go back n seek for info about the learning objective we've defined. I'm currently working on it n I find it somewhat difficult because we were not told exactly how deep do we need to know. When I open the biochemistry book, it's really quite shocking to see so many technical terms n complicated charts which I'd never seen. It almost look it a book written in a foreign language to me. But I think I'll do fine. I'll just have to sit down (shutdown the computer, hide it far far away) n patiently read through the paragraphs to grasp the concept. I'm confident that I'll do fine. Even if it's not fine, I'm sure it'd be fine. After all they don't call it the 'training case' for nothing, do they?
Rite.. I think it's time for me to signoff n open my books. I'll update this as frequently as I can.
Tuesday, September 27
Thursday, September 22
First Week in Manchester
Here I am, at Manchester... I don't sound too excited, do I? I can't believe how dull I'm feeling now... It's not supposed to be this way. It just happen that the social life here just isn't for me... or maybe I just havn't get used to it yet... Social life here is definitely very very different from what we had back in Malaysia. (Not that I'm a very social person even back in KL) I just prefer spending quality peaceful time in the library or in the room or at home rather than going out and do nonsense (at least that's what I think). Antisocial you think I am? Go on, I don't give a damm.
There's still a huge lot of things I've got to adjust myself to here. First, I've really got to learn to listen more attentively to the British accent. I can understand general stuff, it's just that when they start joking, I'll be keeping stiff at a corner because I don't understand it. I've been taking the power of language for granted. Language is the force that keeps the momentum of a conversation going, seriously! I have become a little more reserved and quiet since I came here because I don't feel fitted in... just like when I was new in BBGS, when everybody speaks PERFECT English while I was still struggling to get my tenses right. I know my English is not bad and the locals here can definitely understand me. I am a language person to an extent.. all I need is a little attitude adjustment. I just need to get my self esteem back on track. Honestly I can tell you that the self-worthyness that's keeping alive and successful before this has gone down at least 50%.
Sometimes I just don't know how to cheer myself up. When I wake up in the morning, I'd tell myself: Today's gonna be a better day than yesterday. Yesterday I didn't talk in PBL, today I'm gonna crap some rubbish, even others ignore me, I'm still gonna carry on. I'm just gonna happy go lucky today. I don't care how other people see me. I don't have to be Ms Perfect in the eyes of others. Well, that's proven to be hard, even impossible in practice. I hated myself, my perfectionist attitude. It's really killing me. I just feel like I can't bear myself making mistake. Everything that's supposed to turn out right MUST turn out right. I do accept that sometimes mistakes and bumps and hiccups I meet in life is unavoidable and constructive, but I just can't bear with the bad feeling guilt and flashbacks and nightmares that won't go off for a very long time. These things are particularly persistent in my mind that I thought I went crazy at times as I keep shouting at myself to 'stop it!'. Fortunately on the other hand, positive reinforcement that I get (we learnt this in lecture today - it's supposed to be a really great way of obtaining feedback) and good memories like having a good laughter with friends are another category of things that persist in my head and that's much sweeter that the negative one, the imperfect one. Once I done something wrong, that thought of 'I could have said this...could have done that' keeps bugging my mind and sometimes I simply get very very sick of it.
Ultimately I know that only I can change myself. So I'm gonna work on quiting the perfectionist attitude starting this moment. And I'm gonna turn into a more cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl that will more or less float along with the flow.
There's still a huge lot of things I've got to adjust myself to here. First, I've really got to learn to listen more attentively to the British accent. I can understand general stuff, it's just that when they start joking, I'll be keeping stiff at a corner because I don't understand it. I've been taking the power of language for granted. Language is the force that keeps the momentum of a conversation going, seriously! I have become a little more reserved and quiet since I came here because I don't feel fitted in... just like when I was new in BBGS, when everybody speaks PERFECT English while I was still struggling to get my tenses right. I know my English is not bad and the locals here can definitely understand me. I am a language person to an extent.. all I need is a little attitude adjustment. I just need to get my self esteem back on track. Honestly I can tell you that the self-worthyness that's keeping alive and successful before this has gone down at least 50%.
Sometimes I just don't know how to cheer myself up. When I wake up in the morning, I'd tell myself: Today's gonna be a better day than yesterday. Yesterday I didn't talk in PBL, today I'm gonna crap some rubbish, even others ignore me, I'm still gonna carry on. I'm just gonna happy go lucky today. I don't care how other people see me. I don't have to be Ms Perfect in the eyes of others. Well, that's proven to be hard, even impossible in practice. I hated myself, my perfectionist attitude. It's really killing me. I just feel like I can't bear myself making mistake. Everything that's supposed to turn out right MUST turn out right. I do accept that sometimes mistakes and bumps and hiccups I meet in life is unavoidable and constructive, but I just can't bear with the bad feeling guilt and flashbacks and nightmares that won't go off for a very long time. These things are particularly persistent in my mind that I thought I went crazy at times as I keep shouting at myself to 'stop it!'. Fortunately on the other hand, positive reinforcement that I get (we learnt this in lecture today - it's supposed to be a really great way of obtaining feedback) and good memories like having a good laughter with friends are another category of things that persist in my head and that's much sweeter that the negative one, the imperfect one. Once I done something wrong, that thought of 'I could have said this...could have done that' keeps bugging my mind and sometimes I simply get very very sick of it.
Ultimately I know that only I can change myself. So I'm gonna work on quiting the perfectionist attitude starting this moment. And I'm gonna turn into a more cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl that will more or less float along with the flow.
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