Aging

Ever since I started seeing patients and working as a health care assistant, I kept telling myself that I would not want to get any older than retirement age. I seem to have equated an old age with being dependent, mentally sluggish, slow and unproductive. Patients tell me that even having a catheter hanging is like a nightmare to one's dignity already, imagine having to be fed, washed and moved around using hoist everyday. I have also realised that I have taken the fact that we are able to move around and express our wishes freely for granted. It's really stressful enough for me to deal with immobile and mute patients in the wards, imagine what is it like for relatives and how frustrated it is for the patient themselves - 1. not being able to speak their mind 2. being a burden to other, feel guilty. So I have decided that I don't want to be old.

Then recently, I have begin to change my mind. I met some individuals in their 70s and 80s are still able to maintain an active life. They don't need people to help them wash or go to the toilet. They are still able to enjoy life with their families and friends. My grandma at the age of 70ish before she passed away was able to walk two miles a day to and from the market and keep the house in perfect order. So I was thinking, should I just get old anyway and see which way I would end up? I think I will actually review this when I'm at my 40s or 50s.

This is such a rubbish post...
And I have to say that you can be sluggish at any age. For example, I bang my forehead on the wall just when I was about to go to sleep. Hurts.