A record number of As?

This country is developing obsessive compulsive disorder towards the number of As. Guess how many As the best student in SPM got? 19! Well, I would like to say well done to the girl. She deserves it. It's the people's reactions that really bother me. The MP (or whoever) in her area made a big banner (with her face across) to congratulate her, students in her ex-school lined up 2km to welcome her. Is that necessary? Tomorrow the newspapers will be filled with her 'story of success'. Honestly, they are so pathetic!

Every year, all these will be on the news right after public exams results are announced. My question is: why take so many subjects in the first place? The thing is if people are taking so many subjects for the sack of getting the As and making the front page, then something is wrong somewhere. There could be other possibilities: student life is hard - only the very best gets the scholarship.

No matter how you see it, most teenagers are not yet that rational in their thinking, and this applies to the very intelligent ones as well. If I can blame someone for this, I would put the blame on the media for making these top scorers such celebrities. I also blame policy makers in scholarship provisions and universities admissions for there overemphasis on academic results. OK, yes they do take into account co-curriculum, but there is no way, for example my sister YeeLeng who was a national level drama champion and who stayed back everyday in school for various activities (until mummy got so angry with her)with 7As would beat the 19As candidate regardless of her co-co status. Won't you agree? If you ask me, I think if you throw both my sister and the 19As girl into the world, my sister would actually be the one who survives and thrives at the end*.
*But actually this is a bit biased because this sister of mine is a bit more gifted than normal people, so it'll be unfair to compare with normal people - I'll dedicate another entry about her.

OK, enough sourgrapes now. I would like to extent my congratulations to my second sister WanCheng for achieving 12 As in her SPM! Wualawei... Bloody hell that's really amazing! Didn't know she can actually beat me! (Please, no sourgrape again) Hope she is lucky enough to get a scholarship to study medicine. I have come to know a lot people who decided to take up medicine just because they get straight As, but cross my heart I'd say that it's not the case for Cheng. She has a genuine genuine interest and curiousity towards human physiology and would get so excited and fascinated whenever I tell her how things work in our body. Good luck sis!

Aging

Ever since I started seeing patients and working as a health care assistant, I kept telling myself that I would not want to get any older than retirement age. I seem to have equated an old age with being dependent, mentally sluggish, slow and unproductive. Patients tell me that even having a catheter hanging is like a nightmare to one's dignity already, imagine having to be fed, washed and moved around using hoist everyday. I have also realised that I have taken the fact that we are able to move around and express our wishes freely for granted. It's really stressful enough for me to deal with immobile and mute patients in the wards, imagine what is it like for relatives and how frustrated it is for the patient themselves - 1. not being able to speak their mind 2. being a burden to other, feel guilty. So I have decided that I don't want to be old.

Then recently, I have begin to change my mind. I met some individuals in their 70s and 80s are still able to maintain an active life. They don't need people to help them wash or go to the toilet. They are still able to enjoy life with their families and friends. My grandma at the age of 70ish before she passed away was able to walk two miles a day to and from the market and keep the house in perfect order. So I was thinking, should I just get old anyway and see which way I would end up? I think I will actually review this when I'm at my 40s or 50s.

This is such a rubbish post...
And I have to say that you can be sluggish at any age. For example, I bang my forehead on the wall just when I was about to go to sleep. Hurts.

Exam results

Hello all

Just got my exam results. Relieve to have passed everything but not too excited because the grades are not up to my (and important others') expectations. I received honours grade for two papers (Semester and progress tests) and satisfactory grade for OSCE.

Semester test was really good (two more marks to distinction in fact), perhaps because I really really enjoyed studying the brain and its accesories and told myself I HAVE TO NAIL IT - It's now or never.

Progress test - eventhough it's an honour, I got 48 this time compared to 50 last time, which is a BIG WARNING for me to BE SERIOUS about bucking up and NOT BE COMPLACENT.

OSCE - Just got satisfactory grade. I received 81% (quite impressive actually) which is unfortunately just two marks away from the honours grade. I could have gotten the honours grade - I'm not in denial here but dead serious. I swear I did everything right and deserve full marks (100) in the Cranial nerves testing station but only got 58 marks - What The Hell?! O Well.. at least the results would do me some good - I.e. forcing myself to work harder next time.

I just can't believe how kiasu I am now. Perhaps it's because I'm really feeling the competitiveness among my peers now. Everyone is really serious about their studies now. Back in the first year, I would have been the only one in the group who have completed the anatomy worksheet before dissection. But now I can hardly find anyone who haven't read up before a session. Also I am allocated into a really bright group this semester. Kind of starting to feel a bit insecure about myself...

I also feel a bit of pressure from my parents as well. When I was having my exams, mummy and pa said it's ok not to get honours grade, as long as I have tried my best. But now, it's been almost 24 hours since I sent each of them a text messege regarding my results and I still haven't heard from them... They must be a bit unhappy or disappointed that I haven't manage all honours this time. Lots of internal conflicts and external pressure right now. Can't really talk to anyone about it. Feel sick.