Am I doing it right?

Am I doing everything right? Am I doing anything right at all? Don't know. I've been pondering these questions over and over and over again these few days.

The christmas holiday has started and I've been spending most of the first week of the holiday in the library - working on the psychosocial topics that I've conveniently skip through while working with the cases throughout the semester. A chat with my psychology lecturer really gave me a sense of seriousness about not doing enough about the psychosocial content in the PBL cases, as she put it "but it is of real concern that you have left it so late in the semester to consider these issues". Though I'm fairly satisfied with my disciplince in working and reading about, I can't help but feel extremely frustrated with the uncertainty about exactly what and how much detail to cover. That's the problem with PBL - we just have go round and round the topic without knowing what exactly to learn. Being a perfectionist, I really hate this because it seems that I just want to read everything in the books - just in case I miss something that'll come out in the exam. I need a strategy. I know I need to focus but I just feel unsafe and guilty not to learn and swallow as much as I can. It's not really with the course but my attitude - the perfectionist attitude. I feel so helpless because I don't know who to turn to and express my worries. I don't want to ask my lecturer stupid questions on what and how to focus when I kind of know what and how to do it already yet I can't make myself do it. Aghhhh!! This is getting way too complicated! Other people doesn't seem to have that kind of problem... I really need more of their attitude - the happy-go-lucky spirit.

On the other hand, I find reading topics on psychology quite enjoyable (Only if I can read it as a storybook and don't have to be examined on it...). The more I read, the more I'm convinced about the complexity of human behaviour, to an extreme that one can NEVER understand fully human behaviour. Many experiments and studies psychologists did just raised so many doubts even as I was reading them that I can hardly believe them. There's almost not one single experiment that has any constant variable.. yet they proclaimed to have discover a 'breakthrough'.. how amusing? You see, that's another reason I think psychology is not something worth examining as it is often hardly scientifically valid. There's one experiment that's really caught my attention: the infamous Stanford Prison Experiment by Zimbardo n co (www.prisonexp.org). I thought it was a horrible experiment that it can only happen in movies - too unethical and unprofessionally designed n done.

I think I'd better get back to the psychology n social psychology books so that I can visit Lauren's house over christmas with peace of mind... if u know what I mean.