Examining life

Bearing in mind that I will be super free and relaxed for the next two weeks before I head back to KL, I went to the Manchester central library today to borrow a few books. The book I am reading at the moment is called Philosophy for Dummies.

I have actually done bits of philosophy in MARA College Banting as part of the Theory of Knowledge (TOK) subject in the International Baccalaureate programme. Fascinating subject, never had enough of it. I remember enjoying myself thinking hard to come up with coherent arguments in TOK. We debated lots of random topics on dream, sources of knowledge, abortion, the hudud law, pornography, languages, perception, ethics, first human landing on the moon etc. I only wish that we were allocated as much time to study TOK as math or chemistry.

I took this book today after having an interesting conversation with Lizz yesterday on metaphysics. Lizz is a medical student in Bristol who has just finished her intercalated degree on Medical Humanities and English Literature. I know in college many of my friends simply don't see the point of having such 'time-wasting' subject like TOK, and I can see why. Sometimes you can just go on and on arguing for ages without coming to any conclusion, or worse find yourself back to square one.

Personally I wouldn't spend years studying a degree on philosophy but it can be something very nice to think and write about in my free time. I recall when I was four or five years old, I was playing with a neighbour kid (HanHan) at the front yard, and soon her mother called his name and ask him to go back home. Then it suddenly occured to me the questions: Why am I me? Why am I not born as HanHan? What if I have my body but a mind of HanHan or vice versa? Why do I only call my own parents papa and mummy ever since I was born and not respond to other parents? I don't remember the moment I was born: Could there be someone else sitting in my body then? Why is it that I can control what I want to think and I can control my own body, but I can't control what HanHan thinks and does, or that of my sisters? And again, why am I myself, not HanHan or my other sisters? I ran into the house and asked papa these questions. He said "I don't know, you'll have to ask God". Well, he didn't mean it because our family don't believe in God. I didn't think much about it until college time when we study TOK. I've also been examining these things since my late teens by reading religious books (mainly on Buddhism).

Am I still the same person as I was at four years of age? Yes, because I've still not resolved those questions and no, because I'm different now in that I have opinions, skills, knowledge, life principle and more questions. Sometimes when I reflect upon what I've achieved in life, I couldn't believe that I am actually myself. Looking at my own reflection on the mirror, this person actually looks fairly pretty, confident, perfect almost, and she has proven to be rather intelligent, hardworking and ambitious. She simply couldn't be me! She is someone I've envisioned myself to be back in school. I want to be like her but... am I her now? Obviously yes, I have achieved my vision and I am her. But what now? Mmmm good question Yee Yen, what now? Maybe I should keep on refusing to believe that the person in the mirror and Yee Yen that everyone knows at this moment is in fact not myself.

Stress over

Exams are over and I'm feeling much more relaxed now. Don't ask me how exams went.

I've just came back from the Medsin South West Training Day with Joel and Tolani. Trainers from Manchester (Tolani, Joel and I), Peninsula (Sarah and Jen) and Bristol (Lizzy) joined forces to conduct a training for medical schools in the South West of England. It was held at Exeter on Saturday. Both the trainers and the trainees had an amazing time. I ran a workshop on Leadership with Tolani and another workshop on Teambuilding and Communication with Sarah. I am so glad that people enjoyed the games I created and was really pleased meeting and working togather with people I met in TNT. Here are some pictures taken on the training day.

Qualifying exams for doctors

MALACCA: Medical graduates who studied overseas may have to sit for a unified medical examination and, whether their university is recognised or not, a pass in the examination would allow them to practise in Malaysia.
Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek said this would ensure these graduates had the required standard and quality to practise medicine in the country.
He said the ministry was discussing the matter with the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC), adding that Malaysia recognises 344 universities for medical studies.
“We cannot continue giving recognition to more and more universities because we have to evaluate and monitor their standards from time to time.
“We are also not capable of doing so as there are more than 300 universities,” he told reporters after opening the 17th annual general meeting of the Federation of Alumni Associations of Taiwan Universities here yesterday.
Dr Chua said the local unified medical examination had to be introduced as a long-term solution.
“We want to maintain the quality and standard of our doctors.
“It would be disappointing if, one day, Malaysians lose confidence in their own doctors.
“So we should not focus on quantity. The standard is more important,” he said, adding that there had lately been a drop in the quality of doctors.
Among the causes was the medical students' lack of commitment. Many took up the course not because they were interested in medicine, he said.
Dr Chua said these students only believed they had to be doctors because of their excellent results in the SPM and STPM examinations.
“We have implemented a programme where we try to get them accustomed to a hospital environment for five days.
“At the end of it, we see about 10% of them pulling out of the course.
“What we want is commitment and passion which is lacking,” said Dr Chua, adding that the ministry would increase the number of course days to between seven and 10 next year.
He said that so far, the Government recognised eight Taiwanese universities and 250 of the graduates had registered to become doctors, 120 as dentists and 57 as pharmacists.
The Malaysian Medical Association said that although a unified medical examination for overseas graduates was good, it had to be well thought out.
Association president Datuk Dr Teoh Siang Chin said the examination could be conducted in three parts, comprising practical, written and viva voce.
“The plan will not work with the candidate sitting for just one paper. It could take between two and three days,” he said when contacted yesterday.
MMC president Tan Sri Dr Ismail Merican said the examination would remove the problem of varying standards as a result of graduates coming from different universities.
The move would also see the MMC not being taxed with issues such as paperwork and conducting inspections on medical schools, which are time-consuming.


Mmmm..... Though I probably have nothing to fear (except communicating in Malay with patients after not speaking the language for a while...), after 1001 exams in medical school, we still have to prove our worth when we come back home? Stress!!! Have I just landed myself in a profession with most exams ever? Some of my friends might just not come back home and continue working in the UK... Will write more when after my last paper on Tuesday, my brain's not right at the moment...

Myself in The Star

Have a look:

http://www.thestar.com.my/education/story.asp?file=/2007/5/13/education/17672842

CAGE questionnaire

CAGE questionnaire is a set of questions used by medics as a quick screen for alcoholic. I am applying these set of questions to screen for my addiction towards the internet.

1. Have you ever felt you should CUT down on going online?
YES

2. Have people ANNOYED you by criticising you going online?
NO

3. Have you ever felt bad or GUILTY about going online?
YES

4. Have you ever go online first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover (EYE- opener)?
YES

I am indeed an internet addict.

Ridiculous!

How come I can still find time blogging? hehe... trying to make myself feel guilty - I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR THE EXAMS NEXT WEEK!!! ok... after this. Promise myself - Will definitely definitely definitely finish the case on the liver before I go to bed tonight, even if it means no sleeping for me.

What is so ridiculous? Three things I read from online Malaysian newspapers.

1. Make aliens pay medical bills
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/5/5/nation/17641968&sec=nation
Has The Star caught up with the recent rampant use of indecent of words by the many fame-seeking politicians? The government has a point of not subsidising cost of medical care for foreigners, but why do we have to call them alien? It is not as if these people are filthy rich folks exploiting our national resources, these are poverty stricken Indonesians and Filipinos who probably have no where else to turn to. If they have no mercy at all for these sick people, at least show some sign of civilization in speech and writing.

2. Zainuddin proposes classifications of bloggers
http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Saturday/NewsBreak/20070505190240/Article/index_html
I am personally against any sort of regulation on the world of blogging. It's simply stupid. I am a Petronas scholar and I am actually not supposed to criticize the government or say anything that is sensitive - and I have not. But I firmly believe that Malaysian are mature enough to be given some space and freedom to discuss about issues affecting us. It pains me to read reports nearly on a daily basis on government trying to impose views on us. I visit many Malaysian blogs regularly, and I have just realised that our country is just full of people who are actually great thinkers and can argue eloquently. And these blogs are making readers think, debate problems and find solutions. Malaysians are actually using our brains for good!!! I see this as a sign of progress of our people and our nation from 'just accept everything decided by our leaders' to 'we all have a role to play, and I want my voice heard'. Malaysia as a country, had a history of people reacting disproportionately aggressively to stupid remarks sensitive to religion, race, political ideology etc. But I think we have come a long way, and are grown up now. Leaders are still treating us like little babies, that everything we do needs to be scrutinized. I am telling you, at this rate, Malaysia will never grow up.

3. Siren chasers to be fined on the spot
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/5/5/nation/20070505071106&sec=nation
OK, I agree that Malaysians have a bad habit of trailing siren-ed vehicles to beat the traffic. That is not fair. I also agree that drivers who obstruct emergency vehicles like ambulance and fire engine should be fined (not that our ambulances have that kind of lifesaving sense of urgency). I only have a problem with this statement being released after two policemen died after they rammed into a car that came to a sudden halt at a junction while escorting a VVIP. I don't know the whole situation but seems to me that this is a mere unfortunate accident. I always think VVIP should not have the privilege to light-speed on the roads, but I suppose they have earned it being born/elected/appointed to the position. While escorts are trained to speed, they should also have been trained to look out for own and the public safety since their job of speeding and intimidating/bullying other motorists to give way does involve some risks. To put the blame on ordinary motorist, I think, is not very fair.

OK. Enough of ranting for now. I also want to show you myself in the news. Check out these websites:
http://www.manchester.ac.uk/aboutus/news/display/index.htm?id=114474
http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Friday/National/20070427080225/Article

Now I shall immerse myself into the world of the hepatobiliary system. Err... dark green yucky bile juice... taste bitter. I know because I had to clean up a patient who made a big mess vomiting and pooing bile before.

I am stupid

I slept when I shouldn't have. So many things in my mind. Shouldn't have taken up so many things that I cannot handle. Stupid me. Now I cannot do anything right. Nothing is going right. I am the stupidest person in the world.