When she is angry

She is the coolest and the hottest lady in town. An outright extrovert, she expresses whatever she is feeling. Mainly through body language. Because of this, I think she is cool. Sometimes, I sing to her and ask her how was my singing, she would say 'Good, very good...' with a smile while carrying on with her kitchen work and I carry on singing. I really enjoy helping her with her housework because she gives me with a big 'THANK YOU' with the sweetest tone. I thought I was her favourite, but she claims that she has no favourite, and I believe her, because sometimes she always gangs up with the other sisters or even papa against me. But it's ok, I still love her to bits.

She is like the sun. This is very important because when she is happy, everyone else around her miraculously are drawn into the jovial mood. Ever so popular like a hot star, everyone wants to be around her. Even I, the ultimate family loudspeaker cum joker have to bow to this special talent of hers. I'll tell you the biggest secret. I am happiest when I catch her singing, as if I have found gold. Even though her vocal power is nowhere nearly as good as mine, I know that she must be in her own heaven, and I am happiest when she is happy. 

But when she is unhappy (it is very easy to tell, she makes no effort to hide it) mysteriously everyone around her become quiet and uptight, as if a preparing for a stormy night. There are two faces of unhappiness in her. One is of shouting, another is of the silent treatment. Off her wide range of vocabulary, she picks the most cynical words. Fresh off the boiling volcano, her sentences are high in volume, low in tone, furiously dark on her face and completely mad in emotion. The impact seeps into every cells of everyone within 20 feet. It is hurtful, like freshly sharpened knife stabbed straight into the chest for 1000 times. I would not wish of them any upon my worst enemy. 

When this phase dies off, comes the long, silent aftermath. This is a dangerous time because she looks as cool as the black charcoal sitting quietly amongst the woods, but a small wind would set off another raging bonfire. It is at this time that we realize how important she is in making decisions at home. It is during times like this the rest of us at home instinctively want to help around the house, hoping that it will dim her inner fire. However, it is also when we realize we don't know too many of the menial routine at home. We dare not ask her because we fear it would start another fire. and the task remains unfinished and left for her to do, which will make her angry anyway. So, unfortunately, this coping mechanism had long been abandoned. Instead, during this silent phase, we try to stay out of her way as much as possible, until she finally cools down and start talking to us. 

The other night, when she was at the peak of her unhappiness, I was so upset. I wonder if I am selfish, if I only want her to be happy in order for me to be happy. Maybe. However, it truly pains me to see her unhappy. I toyed with the idea of suggesting that we visit the temple (but at the end I chickened). I could only pray in my heart. I pray that she rids herself of this suffering, all those negativity driving her towards unpleasantness. I pray that never again would she set foot into this realm of unhappiness. I love her happy side too much that I would never do anything to make her unveil her unhappy side. But everyone becomes unhappy once in a while and when she is, I pray that she finds a better way of channeling it out of herself, whether it is taking a breath, or just telling me that her temperature is rising is would like to be left alone for the day, a way that does not raise her blood pressure. 

She is my mummy, and our sunshine. We will always love her to bits.

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