It's Christmas day and I woke up this morning with quite a good mood. I have been feeling quite bored the last few days since I have very few human contact. But I am not depressed at all like last year. I have learnt to handle my life much better now. I am actually quite upset with myself because I am supposed to be studying but I have just been wasting time watching television and surfing the net. I just want to talk to someone and get rid of the feeling of boredom. So I texted mum last night to ask anyone at home is free to online and chat with me.
Mum replied this morning saying that they are not free to chat because they will be going to Singapore to visit my second aunt - zhi gou (papa's second elder sister) who was in coma. She had been suffering from leukemia since the beginning of this year. The prognosis wasn't good at all. But the best thing had been that pa's bone marrow type matches hers completely. The doctor said bone marrow transplant offered the best chance of a cure, eventhough the probability of success was only something like less than 50%. In the end, she did not undergo the marrow transplant. She had undergone a series of chemotherapy and had became quite ill and brittle, physically and emotionally. I have to say that I feel sad that I haven't actually seen her at all ever since she was starting her battle over cancer.
And now she is gone. She has passed away peacefully a few hours ago. The next time I'll be seeing her in the cemetary. I'm sad that she's passed away, but at the same time I'm feel relieved for her that the battle and suffering is over. I have known her to be someone really cheerful and upbeat all my life. I am not very close to her as she lives in Singapore but she's the person you want to talk to because the way she talks to you just makes you feel really comfortable. O yes, I love her. She always buy us (My sisters and I) loads of sweetees when we meet. I know that zhi gou has strong faith with Jesus. So I hope she now rests in peace under God's safe hands.
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I suppose being ten thousand miles away from home when my relative passed away makes me feel weird. I know I am suppose to be feeling sad and I am sad for zhi gou's departure in a way. But it's just that I am still able to continue watching TV and revise my neuroanatomy after learn the unfortunate news. Am I heartless? I really hate myself for feeling like this. I'm sure if I am at her funeral I would be tearing like a river by now but clearly I will not make it. Should I tell my friends? What difference would it make? I should really make an effort to mourn. I will refrain from watching TV now and I will devote my prayers to zhigou. May she have a good afterlife.
sorry to hear about your aunt.
i just lost my great uncle last week, was back home for christmas holidays so i was able to attend his funeral.
anyways, Merry X-mas and Happy New Year 2007. =)
Thanks for your comment Ravi. I'm sorry about your great uncle as well. Really good that you were able to attend his funeral.
Hope you are enjoying your work (and pay). Have a good start of year 2007!
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